You know you’re THAT person when…

You know you’re getting older when you see a toddler waging war on his sleep deprived mother who finds it easier to surrender the battle for the chocolate that’s placed strategically at the check out as opposed to going to war and sticking to those no sugar boundaries.

Instead of glaring at the kid and wishing it would shut up, your soul knows you have more in common with the mum who offers a tight apologetic smile towards you while you smile broadly back at her and nod your understanding sympathetically.

In my case, some of my friends who used to have cute little toddlers now have fully grown tweens.

These soon to be teenagers have their own smart phones and are active on social media with a following that not only rivals some celebrities, but by far surpass my little business page that I’ve taken YEARS to build.

These tweens now have opinions of their own and no longer think of me as the fun aunty. Not only have I been stripped of my ‘cool’ street cred, but my status as a person that they actually recognise and acknowledge is also in question.

I guess that was just my fancy way of saying that when I say hello, I don’t always necessarily get a ‘hello’ back. If anything, I’m just lucky to get some semblance of a nod.

Those days of being on the receiving end of big spontaneous bear hugs or running up to me on the street no longer exist. They’re GONE. Much like the insistence that they need to sit next to ME at dinner.

To say that this has been a blow to my ego would be an understatement.

But I’m a yogi. And a healer.

Not only is it my job to deal with the negative effects of the ego, I would argue that it’s also my life’s calling. In fact, just the other day, I read an article that suggested:

“For us to acknowledge our uniqueness, power, and authenticity, then we must overcome and transcend the ego and go to a place where our truths reside. We can do so by letting go, and becoming aware of the false masks we often wear that lead to our egoic behaviour.”

So they no longer consider me as one of the coolest of their parents friends. That’s ok. Because it recently dawned on me, that I’m really not anymore. Truth is, I haven’t been cool for the longest time.

You see I’ve become THAT person that doesn’t go out and needs to be home in bed reading my book or watching Netflix. By 9.30 the latest.

9.45 if we’re pushing it and boy will I let you know that you owe me BIG TIME for staying out SO LATE.

My desire to be indoors can only be matched by my sense of responsibility. Which means that if I’m accountable for picking someone up, or I need to be ready by a certain time, then I can get my shit together.

But if you make the rookie mistake of telling me that you’ll meet me there at a certain time, you can bet my latest TV series that I’ll cancel on you an hour beforehand, and if it’s raining, that will more than likely be my excuse. Unless I just got my period. Then those cramps take precedent.

I know. I’m such a catch. Form an orderly queue gents.

But you really know when you’ve become THAT person when you actually approach young girls who are scantily clad and PRETEND to be the cool person that just happens to know a lot about Chinese Medicine as you try to encourage them to cover their kidneys while trying to make the bladder and kidney meridian information appear interesting.

While I hastily explain that emotionally, the kidneys are related to willpower and determination, and the ability to cope with life, consequently, when the Kidneys are in a state of disharmony, we can sometimes be driven to a state of excessive-compulsive working habits (a workaholic), but if our kidneys are weak, we lack strength and endurance.

An imbalance in the Bladder can cause such psychological symptoms as habitual fear and an inability to make decisions. If the imbalance becomes chronic, it results in emotional responses as jealousy, suspicion, and holding on to long-standing grudges.

Not only is my gusto not matched, but they fake smile and nod as unenthusiastically as possible in an overt bid to get me to stop talking as quickly as possible.

Their only hope is that I will either stop speaking, or I’ll take a breath that’s long enough for them to haul serious arse out of my vicinity.

Which is kind of ironic really, because the bladder literally relates to feeling ‘pissed off’. Blocked bladder ‘chi’ can also relate to an inability to express emotions… Teehee.

Sending you love as THAT person,

Patty Kikos

P.S. I’m teaching a 2 hour WINTER WELLNESS WORKSHOP at Sukha Mukha Yoga in exactly a week — I’d LOVE to see you there, and if you’re as challenged as I am at getting out of the house in the evening, maybe get your bestie to come too — we’ll be doing a sequence to help you release fear and there’ll also be a 30 minute gong healing!

P.S.S If you’re thinking of coming to my YOU ARE ENOUGH retreat, make sure you get your deposit in as the early bird price ends at the end of the month! So many incredible people have signed up and I’m so excited for you all to meet each other!